Ruminating On: Wistful

wist·ful
ˈwistfəl/
adjective
  1. 1.
    having or showing a feeling of vague or regretful longing.
    “a wistful smile”
    Each of us has a time in our lives or a series of events with which we can look back on and say, “Man, those were the good old days,” but I’d hazard a guess that most of us were not aware we were creating those points of reference while in the moment. Sure, sometimes we stop and think, “I’m never going to forget this,” yet we rarely busy our minds with what might be when the now has our full attention.
    I can honestly say that, without a doubt, I will look back on 2013/2014 wistfully. It’s not that I see my good days ending, or even waning, but, sometimes, I think, “It can’t get much better than this.”
    Ten years ago, I was a homeless alcoholic. Nine years ago, I was addicted to narcotic pain medication. Less than five years ago, I smoked like a chimney in a forest fire. Last October, I was fifty pounds heavier and borderline diabetic.
    Writing has changed my life for the better, yet I still consider my career a hobby. I fear that the moment writing becomes a job I’ll lose the magic. I don’t wanna grow up, nor do I wanna be a real boy. I want to tell my stories, and I want people to read them. If I can pay my bills while I’m at it, it’s all gravy, baby. And, since this time last year, I’ve been doing just that.
    So, yes, I see myself looking back on this year wistfully. Because, even if things continue to get better instead of worse, I will always remember the last 365 days as the year when everything changed. My success is not solely my own, though. The responsible parties/events are as follows: my wonderful friends and fans, my dedicated family, the professional relationships I’ve built over the past four years, selling the film option for CRUELTY, and a huge spoonful of Right Place/Right Time. Oh, and CRAWL. I don’t think anyone thought that short book was going to do as well as it has, including me. I appreciate each and every person who has read, is currently reading, or is planning to read one of my books. Without you, Dear Readers, I’m nothing more than a madman talking to his computer screen. Thanks for a wonderful year. Whatever I can do to repay you, just ask.
    Below you will find a list of people who’ve changed my life for the better. Some had tinsy-tiny roles, and some played epic parts. Not everyone will be here, but I’m sure you know who you are and what you did:
    Chelle, Autumn, Chris
    David Antrobus
    Jeff Brackett
    Linton Bowers
    JD Mader
    Jo-Anne Teal
    Al Kunz
    Nikki Howard
    Charlene Cocrane
    Paul Elard Cooley
    Pep Kay
    James Newman
    Kealan Patrick Burke
    Neil Gaiman
    Eli Roth
    Frank Darabont
    Dot
    Mom
    Uma
    Everyone at Red Adept Publishing
    And, most importantly, carrot juice.
    Until next time,
    E.
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