Day Seventeen: 379lbs
There would be absolutely no reason reason for this blog if all I were to do is report the good stuff, the progress. So here’s the honest truth. I backslid. Three times this past week, I went back for seconds after dinner. I made excuses, ridiculous inner chatter, about how I’d been writing all day and didn’t have time for breakfast and lunch. Seconds would be all right because, hell, I hadn’t eaten all frakkin’ day. I’d make up for it tomorrow. But I didn’t. All excuses do is give you the freedom to make more excuses. It’s a cycle I do not want to continue repeating. Old habits die hard, as they say. I realize that twenty-five-plus years of bad behavior will not be changed in just two simple weeks. I’m thirty-two, but I’m sure I didn’t come out of the womb gorging myself on McDonald’s french fries. Mom says I was seven before I had my first taste of fast food. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing, so I won’t comment on that.
Now, The Good:
By some crazy happenstance, I still managed to lose nine pounds. I’ve continued with the yoga, even started some meditation thanks to Audrey Carden and her dulcet tones. I’ve found my glen, and I love it there. Those of you that lend no credence to zen states and enlightenment can park your bike around back and kiss my rear-end. It’s magic. There’s no other words for it. I had been taking pain medicine six times a day for seven years, nonstop. If I didn’t dose I would be in screaming agony. Because of these simple exercises and jaunts outside of myself, I’m down to simple Excedrin every once and a while. Mostly because this writing gig calls for me to be seated for eight-plus hours a day, not because yoga or meditation has failed me. I’m still only drinking water, unsweetened tea and coffee, so there’s another win.
I’m happy. Even with my backsliding, I’m one content married father of two who just happens to have the greatest job in the world. Pain and depression causes a person to become aggravated at the simplest of things. Not me. Not anymore. I’m enjoying losing weight. I’m writing stuff I never thought I was capable of, and just full on celebrating life in general. Take this from someone who knows the dark better than most: The light is so much better.