LABB: Day Seventeen

Day Seventeen: 379lbs

The Bad:

There would be absolutely no reason reason for this blog if all I were to do is report the good stuff, the progress.  So here’s the honest truth. I backslid. Three times this past week, I went back for seconds after dinner. I made excuses, ridiculous inner chatter, about how I’d been writing all day and didn’t have time for breakfast and lunch. Seconds would be all right because, hell, I hadn’t eaten all frakkin’ day. I’d make up for it tomorrow. But I didn’t. All excuses do is give you the freedom to make more excuses. It’s a cycle I do not want to continue repeating. Old habits die hard, as they say. I realize that twenty-five-plus years of bad behavior will not be changed in just two simple weeks. I’m thirty-two, but I’m sure I didn’t come out of the womb gorging myself on McDonald’s french fries. Mom says I was seven before I had my first taste of fast food. I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing, so I won’t comment on that.

Now, The Good:

By some crazy happenstance, I still managed to lose nine pounds. I’ve continued with the yoga, even started some meditation thanks to Audrey Carden and her dulcet tones. I’ve found my glen, and I love it there. Those of you that lend no credence to zen states and enlightenment can park your bike around back and kiss my rear-end. It’s magic. There’s no other words for it. I had been taking pain medicine six times a day for seven years, nonstop. If I didn’t dose I would be in screaming agony. Because of these simple exercises and jaunts outside of myself, I’m down to simple Excedrin every once and a while. Mostly because this writing gig calls for me to be seated for eight-plus hours a day, not because yoga or meditation has failed me. I’m still only drinking water, unsweetened tea and coffee, so there’s another win.

The Fantastic:

I’m happy. Even with my backsliding, I’m one content married father of two who just happens to have the greatest job in the world. Pain and depression causes a person to become aggravated at the simplest of things. Not me. Not anymore.  I’m enjoying losing weight. I’m writing stuff I never thought I was capable of, and just full on celebrating life in general. Take this from someone who knows the dark better than most: The light is so much better.

Shanti.

E.

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12 thoughts on “LABB: Day Seventeen

  1. E. I’m so proud and happy for you. So glad the meditation is helping you, there is plenty more where that came from and i’m working on it this weekend. I totally agree with Jo-Anne about the last paragraph. On wards and upwards my dear friend!

  2. I resumed a lapsed sitting practice three weeks ago. The effects of meditation have been amazing for me, too. I am calmer and less likely to become unsettled by the minor daily disasters that used to totally throw me into chaos.

    I’m glad you’ve found your glen!

    -aniko

    PS – Duh, I’m so dumb! I finally get it that LABB stands for Losing A Backstreet Boy! hahaha!

    1. Oh, this glen is amazing, Aniko. I’m needing it more and more while I work on this new book. I can’t get this character out of my head with relaxing afterwards to Audrey’s recording. Luckily, he doesn’t go too far, as I do have to finish this book.

      E.

  3. One man can change himself and change the world around him at the same time.

    I went out for lunch today, and thought of you. Seriously. I passed my favorite fast food place and went to Radio Shack instead. Now I have some blank DVD’s and a guilt free conscience. And, I might add, the 32oz cup sitting in front of me right now is filled with water. #WWELD

    Thanks for being an inspiration. Now, get back to work.

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