Why Parenthood is like the Saw Franchise:

If you’re not paying attention, you could wake up chained to a bathtub.


You’ve looked for your child everywhere. How the hell did they end up in the safe?


Your house is full of deadly booby-traps.


Right now, somewhere in your child’s room, there is a creepy-ass doll. Tricycle is optional.


At least once a day, your child will come to you and say, “I want to play a game.”


Though you’ll go through trials and tribulations, if you survive, you’ll be a better person for it.


Boo-boos will pop up from time to time. And yes, there will be blood.




2 thoughts on “Why Parenthood is like the Saw Franchise:

  1. It doesn’t change when they grow up either E. Once a parent, always a parent. I’ve been extra busy parenting this past month as it happens. Just a little story, when my three girls were little they all shared a room and as I went in to kiss them goodnight while they slept, I was horrified to see all their teddies and dolls (even the rocking horse) bound and blind folded!! I swear it freaked me out. When I asked them why Sophie, who was only six at the time said she didn’t like the way they were looking at her! Ha! Lindsey had asked her to blind fold the rocking horse while she was at it. True story, strange kids! 🙂

    1. For some ungodly reason I’m not getting emails anymore when you comment. Bullocks!

      Anyway, loved your story. I burned a Teddy Rubskin to death over a stuck play button. The damn thing wouldn’t shut up. I tossed him in a rubbish bin, applied lighter fluid, added a lit match, and commenced being beaten by my father over have the fire department called out because of it.



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