Anybody else fat and get pissed when you’re eating salad and someone inevitably asks if you’re on a diet?
No, asshole. I just like salad. My problem is, I also like ranch dressing and shredded cheese and motherfucking real bacon instead of that fake bacon bits bullshit. There just happens to be lettuce and tomatoes in here too.
Next time I see some skinny person eating yogurt, I’m gonna ask if they’re having problems shitting.