My Semi-Fictional Life #29 (Happy Halloween!)

Hello, my festive festival-frequenting Festers. Today is Halloween! I know, I know, no duh. But, for my family, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. We’ll be crashing Trunk or Treats and Harvest Festivals all day, and then, when the sun plummets, it’s on to Trick ‘r Treating. And you know what that means…


I’ve not always had the money to celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas. I can remember two or three years, before meeting my wife, my being alone and morose as those holidays came and went. But I’ve never missed a Halloween. I mean, hell, you can’t walk around on Thanksgiving asking for turkey legs. That’s how you get shot. And since Santa is just hopes and dreams, like Jesus before him, if you’re broke and alone, all you get in December is seasonal depression and a fruitcake from the local food pantry.

But Halloween? Shit, throw some dirt in your hair, rub your hands on a car tire and smudge your face up real good, and you’re all set for any number of parties.

*knock, knock*

“Hello. What’re you supposed to be?”


“Right on! Come on in, there’s punch in the toilet!”

“In the toilet?”

“Ran out of bowls!”

“Right on!”

Or you could just go Trick ‘r Treating. Some people might look at you and say, “Ain’t you a little old to be asking for candy, big guy?” To which you respond with gurgles and head nods. And looky there, there’s a king-size Snickers being dropped in the plastic bag you shoplifted from Walmart.

Hungry? Why wait? Grab a Snickers.

Anyfuck, you get my drift. Halloween is a terrific time of year. People are more accepting of the freaks and you don’t get trampled while shopping. Win/motherfucking/win.

Have a safe and terrific Halloween and I’ll see you tomorrow for the start of NaNoWriMo,


Pic of the Day

From four years ago…

halloween 2012.jpg