My Semi-Fictional Life #54 (Flash Fiction Friday!)

Hello, peeps. Today is Flash Fiction Friday! Not many submissions this week, so I had a lot more freedom to do what I wanted. Remember, every Monday, you get to choose what I write on Fridays, and then, next years, I’m going to publish all of these and give credit to everyone who submits.

Oh, and just because you played last week or the week before doesn’t mean you can’t play every week. Everyone can play as many times as they like!

Without further ado, I give you…

By the Light of the Sun

by Edward Lorn


I can still hear their nails on the winders: screeeeet-ch, screeeeet-ch, screeeeet-ch.

Sadie were the third of us to wake up. She done slept by the winder like a fool. When she seen that white man’s pretty face, o’ course she opened the darn thing. You can’t ignore the draw of their eyes. It’s a power they has. You lock eyes with them there bloodsuckers and you’s a goner.

Janie woke up ‘for I did. She done screamed and I came out the bed like a mouse trap springing closed.

“What? Where?” I hollered, ‘cause I didn’t know no better. Didn’t think to be quiet.

I looked over to the winder just in time to see Sadie snatched out into the darkness. Once she was out of the way, in crawled one of their lot, all pale and skinny and butt nekkid aside from their cowboy hats, with flesh glowing like a lantern.

“Howdy, girls,” he said to the lot of us, both us what were woke and us what were asleep.

“Run, Sadie,” I hollered as I swept off my covers and threw them to the floor.

I might’ve stopped and saved one of the other girls, or our caretakers, but it was no use. I could hear the click-click of the bloodsucker’s claws as they climbed through the winder behind me. I were outnumbered. All I could do was run. Swear ‘for God, that’s all I could do!

One thought blared in my head as I made my escape.

If only the moon were full…


Four days later, hungry and caked in dirt, I rose from the floor of my cave, the place I’d called home since the bloodsuckers run me out of the orphanage, and watched the sun start to drop below the hills. It’d be a little while ‘fore the moon rose. I had plenty of time.

Them folks, what called The Cattle Barons, live in an old plantation house what was burned down during the civil war. Place is surrounded by charred trees and within five-minutes walking distance of the cave I’ve been dwellin’ in the past few nights. I slunk my way through that there forest with my back itching and joints aching and fur sprouting all over my body.

Moon must’ve been coming up quicker than I’d reckoned it would.

The place come into sight through the trees, but no one was around. My winder of opportunity was drastically a’closing. I had such a short time between when they woke up and my body fully changed.

I crashed through the front door, turning it into splinters. I roared, not to intimidate no one, but because I got a sliver in my foot. Hurt like hell, too, considering I wasn’t full wolf yet. Pain didn’t really exist when I had the moon on me, but with it not fully up, a splinter in the paw hurts something mighty fierce.

The living area and the bedrooms were all empty. Figures. I rushed down into the basement, where I should’ve gone first off.

The Cattle Barons were all lined up like heads of cabbage in a darn vegetable garden. They done buried each other so that only their heads were above ground.

Vampires are weird folk. Never have understood their kind.

I went down the first line, ripping heads off bodies and rolling them into the corner like I was bowling.

I grabbed one head around the ears and began to pull. The eyes popped open, looked me dead in the face, and said, “Man, now I’m in serious need of seeing a robot bang a washing machine!”

People say strange stuff when they first is waking up. I didn’t have time for nonsense speak, so I tore off his head and threw it on the pile.

I were almost done, only three of them there bloodsuckers left to pluck, when they woke up like someone stuck a torch up their rear-ends.

The first one came out the ground like a gopher, clicking teeth and screeching. He locked eyes on me—all of me, in full wolfie form—and a hot stream of piss spurted from his shriveled up penis.

It’s much easier to pretend you ain’t scared when you’re not nekkid as a newborn.

I punched through his chest, weaved my claws through his ribcage, and grabbed hold of his crotch with my other hand. I tugged. Hard. He came apart like a ham sandwich.

The other two came at me mean and fast. I took one of their heads off with a swipe, but the other one was too quick for me. Sumbitch bit me right on the neck. I howled and twisted his head off his body like I was opening a jar of pickles.

When it was over, I felt sick. I knew I was infected, but I still had work to do, so I spent several hours digging up bloodsucker bodies and staking them through the heart with a length of wood I snatched off the banister upstairs.

Everybody I staked, its head burst into flames. It was like a magic trick.




By the time I finished staking them there bloodsuckers, the horizon was starting to purple. Bit like I was, I hobbled upstairs and out onto the porch. As I changed back to human, my wound burned something fierce, but I knew it was only temporary.

Bloodsuckers don’t like the sun. It kills them quicker than anything. So I just sat down on the porch steps facing the sunrise and waited for my time.

As the run come up and my skin started to smoke, I wondered to myself just what a robot would look like banging a washing machine. What either of those things is, I ain’t got the foggiest, but it sure did sound funny.

Not many people get to die laughing.


Michael Casper said: Weird Western – a werewolf prostitute destroys evil vampire cattle barrons who prey on pioneer women and children

Janie said: Comedy: “Man, now I’m in serious need of seeing a robot bang a washing machine!”

There you have it. Hope you enjoyed the story.

See you tomorrow,


Pic of the Day