My Semi-Fictional Life #74 (A Recipe)

Hello peeps. I love to cook. I don’t care much for frozen meals or fast food. I used to, but I’ve noticed that the older I get the more I want to know what goes into my food. Not necessarily because I want to be healthier (I do) but because I want to see if I can recreate meals I’ve enjoyed in the past. I want to know what went into recipes, how things work, all that jazz. I especially like meals I can set and forget.

A few days ago, I came across a recipe for crock pot lasagna and then promptly lost the recipe. So, be forewarned, this recipe is not 100% mine. The measurements are mine (I had to figure them out on my own) but the ingredients (aside from the mushrooms and black olives, those additions is mine) were gleaned online.

Where do I start? Pardon me, but this is my first recipe… Like most things, I’m just gonna wing it. Cool? Cool.

Ingredients List:

8oz of ricotta

1/4 cup of half and half

1 four cup bag of shredded mozzeralla cheese

Grated parm

1 egg

1 box of lasagna noodles (or more, depending on how many layers you want, but this recipe only calls for half a box)

1 jar of marinara sauce, or 16oz of your own homemade goodness

1 pound of ground beef (veggie-type folks, replace this with fresh spinach)

(Optional) One can of black olives and fresh mushrooms.

Brown hamburger. Pour in sauce. Mix. Cook until sauce bubbles. Turn off.

In a bowl, mix 1 cup of ricotta, 1 egg, 1/2 cup of mozz, 1/4 cup of parm, and 1/4 cup of half and half. It will be soupy. That’s what the egg is for. Trust me, it will set.

Now we build.

Pour enough sauce into your crock pot to cover the bottom. Lay one layer of dry lasagna noodles. DO NOT COOK THE NOODLES! They will cook. I promise. You’ll likely have to break them to make them fit and cover the entire space. Be creative. You got this.

Now spread a thin layer of your cheese mixture over the noodles. Sprinkle some mozz, sprinkle some parm liberally. Make it rain. Pour on a layer of marinara.

Here’s the optional part: sprinkle in black olives and mushrooms. I love these in lasagna. You might not. Do your own thing. Live your life how you want to. No one’s gonna judge you if you don’t like black olive or mushrooms. You do you.

Then do another layer of lasagna noodles and repeat the layering stated above. Make as many layers as your little heart desires. Go crazy. 3 layer? 16 layers? Whatever. As long as it fits in your crock pot, you got this. Make it happen, Cap’n! When you’re happy with the amount of layers you have cover the whole thing in a heavy coating of mozz and sprinkle a little more parm. This creates a bubbly, gooey top coat of melted cheese that is sex in your mouth. Mmhmm…

Now set your crock pot to HIGH and cook for 3 hours . DON’T LIFT THE LID DURING THIS TIME, YOU NOSY SO AND SO! You need steam to build up and cook your shit. Leave the crock pot alone for three hours then you can check it if you absolutely have to. Stick a fork in it. If the fork easily pierces the noodles, you’re good. If not, replace the lid and check every thirty minutes until you’re happy with the tenderness of the noddles, but 3 hours on HIGH should work fine. It did for me.


You’re welcome.

See you tomorrow,


Pic of the Day