My Semi-Fictional Life #94 (Southern Hospitality? lulz!)

Hello peeps. One of my favorite people on the planet came to visit today. My niece Amber has long been one of the coolest people I know. When she lived around here, she was my gym buddy. Alas, she had to move away to New Jersey, so I only see her about once a year now.

Anyway, it was nice catching up. She had some funny stories about a trip she took with her sister (my other niece, Ashley) to New York and some embarrassing situations they got into. We discussed the differences between New York, New Jersey, and here (Alabama), and I came to a weird realization.

I don’t mind shitty people being shitty to me if I know they’re going to be shitty. For instance, when I moved from Alabama to Maine, I expected the “Northern Attitude”. And I got it. Yankees are opinionated and will tell you exactly what they don’t like about you. You don’t even have to ask. When I moved back down to Alabama, I found myself pissed off at people much more because this is the south, where they are (allegedly) known for “Southern Hospitality”. Ha! You know what “Southern Hospitality” is? It’s when a southerner pretends to like you if liking you will benefit them in some way. If they wanna sell you a beat-up old car. “Yessir, can I get you a glass of sweet tea with that lemon?” If they’re selling you BBQ “Can I get you a mint to go with that breath, bubba?” If they think your kid’s ugly but they really wanna sell you the lumber for a new swing set “Lookit that little firecracker. Bless his little heart!” If you’re an outsider, say, like a Damn Yankee, or my west-coast-ass, you’re not getting any of that hospitality. And if you’re anything but Caucasian, be ready to be treated like a second-class citizen, because to these folks, you are far below those who boast that they’re “SOUTHERN BY THE GRACE OF GOD!”

My revelation is this: I don’t like people who hide their inner asshole. If you don’t like me for whatever reason, just tell me. It’s not going to bother me. In fact, I would much rather you hate me to my face.

Does your state or region have anything like “Southern Hospitality” or “Northern Attitude”? Let me know down below.

See you tomorrow … when I might actually finish and post my Gone with the Wind review… maybe…



Pic of the Day

New Murakami book, COLORLESS TSUKURU TAZAKI AND HIS YEARS OF PILGRAMAGE, came in today! #bookmailisthebestmail



2 thoughts on “My Semi-Fictional Life #94 (Southern Hospitality? lulz!)

  1. It seems to me that half the people in California are “fake”. They post their fake little perfect botox lives on Facebook and run around in their Mercedes mortgaged to the gills and pretend their shit doesn’t stink. If you are not a stuck up snob then they won’t give you the time of day. I don’t have time in my life for any of that. It’s only later that you find out they have been stashing a bunch of kiddie porn on their home computers and are just miserable fake pukes who’s lives are way worse than the “common folk” they look down their noses at.

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