My Semi-Fictional Life #102 (Food Bank Fuckery)

Hello peeps. I should preface this with the admission that food banks are terrific. They help people in low-income and no-income situations put food on their table. That being said, not every food bank is created equal.

Some of you know that I feed my mother. No, not like a pet. She does not live with us, but she comes over for (or we go to her) with meals, because my mother has been brainwashed by her church into giving them her food budget as her tithing. My mother will go without to make sure her church goes with, so I stepped in and asked her to eat with us to make sure she is always nourished. I love my mother. I would do anything for her. But sometimes those we love can be a danger to themselves. It’s not my place to judge what she does with her money or her religion, but it is my right to fuss into the void of social media, so here we go.
Her church, who just built a new building, does not do food drives. They do, however, have no qualms about reminding a 70 year old woman on social security that she “hasn’t tithed this week.” Seriously, they send her reminders. She then has to remind them that she only gets paid once a month and that she tithes four weeks worth of tithings all at one time. When she broke her ribs, my family (me, my wife, and my kids) took care of her. Not even my middle sister, who lives ten minutes away and goes to the same church, came to help. The church didn’t so much as call to ask why she wasn’t coming. They did mail her a reminder letter and an envelope so she could tithe even if she couldn’t make it to church. They knew she’d broken her ribs. My sister told them. They still offered no assistance to a woman who gives them 10% of her limited income EVERY SINGLE MONTH.
I told you all that to tell you this. She went to the local food bank for assistance. The local food bank is not part of any one church, but I’m sure local churches donate. The food bank was her idea. Not mine. I don’t know if her pride is sore because I’ve been having to help her or what. I didn’t ask. She wants to try and help herself, I dig that. I will continue to help in any way I can. So what’s the problem? Well, here’s the list of what she received from the local food bank.
A case of cantaloupe
A case of spring mix lettuce
An entire case of lemons
I know why this happened. I’m not stupid. They obviously got the overstock of a local grocery store. My thing is, what’s she going to do with an entire case of lemons? What would anyone do with an entire case of lemons? How about donating such a thing to a soup kitchen… Oh. We don’t have a soup kitchen. My bad.
So my question to you is, without having to purchase anything else (remember, she’s quite literally broke because of this church), what can my mother do with the three cases listed above? All recipes would be greatly appreciated. smooches
Pic of the Day

2 thoughts on “My Semi-Fictional Life #102 (Food Bank Fuckery)

  1. Tons of lemons? Really. She can make a nice vinaigrette, lemons, vinegar, salt and pepper and she can pour that one the lettuce.

    Here’s a recipe for lemon bars,

    I would also get a whole chicken and zest the lemons, stuff the zest under the skin, shove the rest of the lemons, the ones zested, into the chicken. Salt and pepper the chicken and there you go. That normally last my daughter and I for a whole week.

    And with the cantalope she can make juice. Just cut the cantalope into squares, put in a blender, add water and blend, you will repeat till all the cantalope is blended. One cantalope will be enough for a whole pitcher and add some sugar if not sweet enough.

    I hope some of this helps, I know how tough it is out there and I’m ashamed that a church would take advantage of the elderly like they have with you mother.

  2. That is a questionable food bank. I guess she can do dried lemon zest (for fish and dessert dishes later) and frozen lemon juice (use ice cube trays and have lemon ice cubes for lemonade).

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