We’re four weeks into 2019 and I’ve decided to allow the hair on my head to grow unimpeded until the end of the year. Facial hair, too. Last time I did this, I gave up after three months, when I was asked by a dude outside of our local grocery store if I needed a few bucks so that I could grab a hot meal. He’d thought I was homeless, which wouldn’t’ve been funny had I been, but was decidedly HILL-AREAS to me due to the fact that I was not. I was, however, depressed and perpetually angry, as some of my followers might recall, (think back to how I acted after the 2016 elections and I’m sure my personal appearance will not shock a single one of you), and my hygiene suffered. Luckily, I didn’t reek. I was still showering (Chelle, say thankee) enough to keep the men in white coats away, but I’d stopped grooming myself and wound up looking like…
Look at that slovenly sumbitch! He looks like someone just molested his favorite puppy while dragging it down the interstate by a length of rusted barbwire. Poor bastard deserved to be mistaken for a vagrant. That was 2017, by the way. On Twitter I mistakenly said it was a year ago. It was actually two years ago, when I had everything going for me aside from a positive mental attitude.
So why would I want to look like that again? you might be asking yourself. The answer is, I don’t want to look like that again. I do, however, want to see what I look like with a full beard, and the only way to do that is to grow it out over a year and trim it back. Also, this time around, I plan to take care of all this new hair, which I did not do last time. Beard oil, conditioner, vitamins… those types of things are going to be paramount to success. Will I look like a hot mess dipped in flaming garbage for the next year of my life? Yes, yes, I will. Will the end product be worth it? Probably not. But goddamn it, I’m going to try. Either way, Chelle will be happy, because she likes my pubic beard, says she likes the way it feels, and I couldn’t careless what anyone but her thinks about my appearance so ONWARD!
Video uploads will be lacking this week as central Alabama prepares for SNOWMAGEDDON 2019! Honestly, it might not be that bad, but we lose power whenever someone belches in our general direction, so I don’t have high hopes for internet stability throughout the week. It was a pleasant 55 degrees here all day today, and partly cloudy, but for some reason the internet wouldn’t stop dropping out every hour, meaning I couldn’t get anything uploaded today. Alas, there’s always tomorrow…
Speaking of tomorrow, I have my first doctors appointment since starting my intermittent fasting at the beginning of the year. I’m looking forward to whether or not this new lifestyle is working, considering I do not own a scale and have not been weighing myself. Shit, I could’ve gained weight, but I doubt it. I feel amazing, and none of my clothes fit anymore, so here’s to hoping!
I’m thirty pages from the end of THINNER and despite one part that shattered my sense of escapism, I’ve dug every minute of the book. This is my fourth time through the fifth (and final before King was outed) Bachman book, the last time being in 2015, and I have no idea what has changed in my life to make me appreciate the book more now more than ever. I’m almost done with WITCHES OF EASTWICK, too. Oddly enough both books were published in 1984. I didn’t plan that, promise. When they were written is an entirely different story, I’m sure, but I find it amusing that I just happened to read two books that were both published within months of each other. Serendipity? Fate? Probably neither, but it is cool and odd, even if it means nothing.
What’re y’all currently reading? Only thing I didn’t mention was that I’m about halfway through the audiobook of CHERRY, by Nico Walker, I think is ol’ dude’s name. I’m looking forward to February and Women in Horror Fiction month. Are you participating? I will be, kinda. I won’t be reading only horror, but I will be reading only women authors. I’m excitedto finally start A SECRET HISTORY, by Donna Tartt, and CROOKED GOD MACHINE, by Autumn Christian, whom I’ve long been a fan of. Her blog, anyway. I have yet to read any of her fiction, but her newsletters are some of the best around.
By the way, CRUELTY AND JOY, the prequel/paraquel/sequel to my 2015 serial novel CRUELTY starts over on Patreon in March. If you haven’t signed up, you can do so HERE. For $5 a month, you’ll get a paperback bind-up of the episodes released thus far, as well as a limited-edition hardcover of the final book when the series wraps in late 2020, if you’re subscribed during the life of the serial, that is. You can’t sign up for one month and cancel the next and still get a free hardcover. Sorry, folks. The novel is twice as long as CRUELTY, which was 150k words. That’s right, this motherfucker is 300,000+ words, and I think it’s worth every page. I had the most fun of my career writing this one. If you liked the first book, I guarantee you’ll love this one.
Here’s the cover art. The lettering might change, but the artwork is finished. Patreon supporters will be getting free posters of this image in a few months, as well.
See y’all next Monday!
My favorite videos of the week: