WHAT THE DARK BRINGS (Signed Limited Edition) Pre-Orders Now Available!

This trade paperback run of pre-orders is limited to ten numbered copies. After this batch is sold out, you will still be able to buy copies through amazon, but I will not be signing future editions. There will be no hardcover version of this book. Also, this limited edition is six bucks cheaper than the Amazon version – $9.99 versus $16.99 – because I’m able to get a discount when ordering direct from Createspace.

If you would like a personalized message from me, please leave a note with your payment. Click on the image below for access to the purchase portal.

Thank you for your support.

E.

 

 

 

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CRAWL (Author’s Preferred Edition) Giveaway!

From an upcoming interview:

 

Maria Hunter Welles provides the performance of a lifetime. Her narration of Edward Lorn’s novelette, CRAWL, is the author’s preferred edition. We got a chance to ask him why.

Edward Lorn says: “CRAWL, by itself, is fine and whatnot, but Maria’s performance makes this piece extraordinary. She brings life and passion to the work, and Julie truly breathes and bleeds. You don’t listen to this audio book, you experience it.” 

I promise this is not lip-service, jaw-jacking, or smoke being blown up your ass. I truly feel this way. The text version of CRAWL pales in comparison to Maria’s performance, and I’d much rather have people listen to her version than read the ebook. Maria captured every character’s voice and personality perfectly. She also managed to perform Silas (the thing in the woods) as I originally intended, in a way that I believe I failed to get across on the written page. You truly must listen to this one to believe it. Maria put her heart and soul into CRAWL, and I want to share her with everyone. This isn’t your typical audio book. It’s a stage performance with an entire cast, or one of those old dramatized radio programs.

So here’s your chance to win one of five copies. Click on the image below to enter the giveaway here on Booklikes, but be quick about it, as the promotion is only a week long. Oh, and share away!
One more thing, if you want to hear a sample, clich HERE.

Massive Changes Coming…

Ruminating On is near and dear to my heart, as I started this blog well before I published my first novel, yet I have not been using it as much as I’d like. I will be trying some new things around here, one of which will be a redesigned layout. The site address might change as well. Not sure yet. This website sees plenty of activity, but mostly regarding old posts. One of which, funnily enough, is a post I did back in 2012 on BDSM. I still get over fifty views a day just on that odd posting. Anyway, I plan on streamlining everything and making this site 100% author-centric. I have other blogs where I review movies, games, and books, but I don’t have a central hub for fans and followers. Does that mean this will become the website equivalent of a spam-fest? Nope. But I will be focusing my time here on posts concerning writing, new releases, announcement of future projects, and, quite possibly, adding a store so people can by my indie releases directly from me. The latter is a huge maybe, because, though I love writing, I’m no good at selling what I write.

If you would like to follow my daily shenanigans (I know, that sounds thrilling, huh?), you can follow me on Booklikes, which is where I spend the majority of my time online these days. Click HERE to do that. You can follow me on Twitter with @EdwardLorn, or on Facebook HERE. I’m also on Instgram, Tumblr, Amazon… you get the point. I’m some of everywhere.

I hope to see every one of you when Ruminating On returns. Thank you for your past, present, and future support. And, as always, Dear Reader, you’re time is greatly appreciated.

E.

“Zzyzx Rd.” by Stone Sour

Back in December 2013, I noted that I wanted to change directions as far as my writing was concerned. I had some things to wrap up and see to completion, and now that everything’s as well taken care of as possible I believe I can step away for a while without anyone having a nervous breakdown. I will be reachable on social media until May 5th. If you need me for anything, catch me before then. After Cinco de Mayo, I will go completely dark, and do not know when I will return. During this time, I will not be posting reviews or updates on what I’m reading, nor will I be doing promos for any of my published material. All that can wait until my return. I’ll post an official “Goodbye For Now” before I vanish on May 6th that will detail what you can expect from me when I return.

I think this song covers well enough the last several months of my life on the internet, and it just so happens to start with Z, so I can close out my A to Z Blogging Challenge with it as well. Don’t you just love it when stuff comes together all wrapped up nice and neat with a bow on top? I know I do.

Until next time…

E.

“Zzyzx Rd.” by Stone Sour

I don’t know how else to put this
It’s taken me so long to do this
I’m falling asleep and I can’t see straight
My muscles feel like a melee
My body’s curled in a U-shape
I put on my best but I’m still afraid

Propped up by lies and promises
Saving my place as life forgets
Maybe its time I saw the world

I’m only here for a while
But patience is not my style
And I’m so tired that I gotta go

What am I supposed to hide now?
What am I suppose to do?
Did you really think I wouldn’t see this through

Tell me I should stick around for you
Tell me I could have it all
I’m still too tired to care and I gotta go

I get to go home in one week
But I leaving home in three weeks
They throw me a bone just to pick me dry

I’m following suit and directions
I crawl up inside for protection
I’m told what to do and I don’t know why

I’m over existing in limbo
I’m over the myths and placebos
I don’t really mind if I just fade away

I’m ready to live with my family
I’m ready to die in obscurity
‘Cause I’m so tired that I gotta go

Where am I supposed to hide now?
What am I suppose to do?
You still don’t think I’m going see this through

Tell me I’m a part of history
Tell me I can have it all
I’m still to tired to care and I gotta go

Oh yeah
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah.

Still too tired to care and I gotta go
Still too tired to care and I gotta go
Still too tired to care and I gotta go

Yeah, yeah

Still to tired to care and I gotta go

Go home

Still to tired to care and I gotta go

Yeah yeah

Still to tired to care and I gotta go

Ruminating On: Q&A Tagging Shenanigans

Jeff Brackett tagged me in this craziness, so I must comply, lest he showers me with his hose… Scratch that, reverse it… or something like that. Anyballs, here’s the dealio: He tagged me, gave me four questions to answer, then tasked me with finding another author/blogger to pass the torch to. Who I chose will be at the end of the interview. Now, without further anal dew…

What are you currently working on?

Yo momma! Was that rude? Probably…

Anyway, what was the question? Oh, you want to know about my current writing projects! Well then, Unnamed Imaginary Interviewer, why didn’t you say so?

Linton Bowers and I just wrapped up PORT IN A STORM, the first book in a series of three or more, and we’re waiting on beta readers to return from their sabbaticals with valuable intel. After we chew the fat over their suggestions, we’ll ship the book off to editing. And we all know that’s when the real fun starts (cue lackadaisical trumpet!). Then, moving from the back burner to the red-hot eye that is my work-in-progress shelf, we have CHUCKLERS, my collaboration with Jeff Brackett (the sadistic bastard who talked me into doing this interview you’re reading now). In the near future I have JXSAVES, which is the novel-length follow up to my novelette, CRAWL. JXSAVES takes place before and after the events of the first book. I’ll more than likely be combining the two into one big volume when I’m done. Speaking of combining stuffs, my ongoing serial, CRUELTY, is still a thing. Working on getting Episode Five out, then I’m taking a much needed break until August so that I might be able to have the last five episodes spat upon and polished like fine urban china. Let’s see, what else? I have three shorter projects in the wings, either being written or awaiting editing dates, but those titles are for another time.

How does your work differ from others in its genre?

Answering this question would be to assume that I am unique. A fragile snowflake I am not. There are plenty of horror authors who write the kind of stuff I write, which is either horror with heart or themed horror. Above all I think I’m more of a situational author (and yes, I stole that terminology from Stephen King, but it’s apt in this conversation.) I put my characters in a certain situation and see if they survive. I do appreciate a good twist, so I try to throw in a slice of the unexpected somewhere within every piece. This has been well received and hated in equal amounts. Some people don’t like being tricked, and an even greater number do not like open endings. LIFE AFTER DANE and CRAWL are perfect examples of the mercurial tastes of readers. Both books have completely open endings, but one has been better received than the other.

At the end of the day, I don’t think I’m any better or worse than anyone, and I can’t lay a finger on a single quality of my writing that is unique to me. I can be as gory as Edward Lee, as strange as Bentley Little, as verbose as Barker, as introspective as Koontz or King, as classy as McCammon, or as brutal as Ketchum, but I think that is why my work appeals to so many, because I’m able to jump fences like a crackhead with cops on his heels. You never know what you’re going to get when you open one of my books, and I dig that about me.

Why do you write what you do?

Why do you watch reptile porn while slathered in Elmer’s glue? Well, I write horror for the same reason—I like my voyeuristic endeavors coldblooded and sticky. I keed, I keed. I was raised around horror. My sisters (who are twelve and fourteen years older than me) used to love slasher films and bloody action/adventure/science fiction flicks when they were younger, that was before they grew up and had kids, of course. Now they squirm at the mere mention of cartoon violence. I remember being allowed to watch Witchboard and Friday the 13th while they were tasked with babysitting their baby bro. They sneaked me into Robocop the year it was released, and 1987 will always be one of the best years of my life. Then, in 1989, my mom thought it’d be cool to take her nine-year-old son along with her to watch Pet Semetary  at a drive-in with one of her best friends, a chain-smoking, Nurse-Ratched-type lady named Andrita. I recall hiding in the floor space behind the driver’s seat while Rachael has that flashback where her emaciated sister with the twisted spine rushes from the bed toward the camera. Little known fact: The person that played Rachael’s sister was a man. I can still hear him cackling. Anywho, after that, I couldn’t get my hands on enough Stephen King. Luckily, Mom was a member of his book club, and around the third of every month a new tome of terror would arrive. Delores Claiborne was my first taste of King, and I’ve been devouring his work ever since. I guess my choice of genre was predestined. To this day, whenever I’m surfing Netflix or at a Redbox kiosk, I still pick through the horror selections first. Same with the library or bookstores. I have to see what’s new in the scares department.

How does your writing process work?

I sit down and write. Not much else to say on the matter. I’ve recently begun plotting, but only because I’m working on several collaborations, and it’s difficult writing by the seat of your pants when you have someone else depending on you not screwing up all their hard work. Why don’t you ask my buddy, Linton, all these questions? Oh, and while you’re over there, tell him to shave. My balls are getting carpet burn. Here where you can find him:

Twitter: @LintBow

Booklikes: Drawing with Words

Website: www.lintonbowers.com

Ruminating On: Wistful

wist·ful
ˈwistfəl/
adjective
  1. 1.
    having or showing a feeling of vague or regretful longing.
    “a wistful smile”
    Each of us has a time in our lives or a series of events with which we can look back on and say, “Man, those were the good old days,” but I’d hazard a guess that most of us were not aware we were creating those points of reference while in the moment. Sure, sometimes we stop and think, “I’m never going to forget this,” yet we rarely busy our minds with what might be when the now has our full attention.
    I can honestly say that, without a doubt, I will look back on 2013/2014 wistfully. It’s not that I see my good days ending, or even waning, but, sometimes, I think, “It can’t get much better than this.”
    Ten years ago, I was a homeless alcoholic. Nine years ago, I was addicted to narcotic pain medication. Less than five years ago, I smoked like a chimney in a forest fire. Last October, I was fifty pounds heavier and borderline diabetic.
    Writing has changed my life for the better, yet I still consider my career a hobby. I fear that the moment writing becomes a job I’ll lose the magic. I don’t wanna grow up, nor do I wanna be a real boy. I want to tell my stories, and I want people to read them. If I can pay my bills while I’m at it, it’s all gravy, baby. And, since this time last year, I’ve been doing just that.
    So, yes, I see myself looking back on this year wistfully. Because, even if things continue to get better instead of worse, I will always remember the last 365 days as the year when everything changed. My success is not solely my own, though. The responsible parties/events are as follows: my wonderful friends and fans, my dedicated family, the professional relationships I’ve built over the past four years, selling the film option for CRUELTY, and a huge spoonful of Right Place/Right Time. Oh, and CRAWL. I don’t think anyone thought that short book was going to do as well as it has, including me. I appreciate each and every person who has read, is currently reading, or is planning to read one of my books. Without you, Dear Readers, I’m nothing more than a madman talking to his computer screen. Thanks for a wonderful year. Whatever I can do to repay you, just ask.
    Below you will find a list of people who’ve changed my life for the better. Some had tinsy-tiny roles, and some played epic parts. Not everyone will be here, but I’m sure you know who you are and what you did:
    Chelle, Autumn, Chris
    David Antrobus
    Jeff Brackett
    Linton Bowers
    JD Mader
    Jo-Anne Teal
    Al Kunz
    Nikki Howard
    Charlene Cocrane
    Paul Elard Cooley
    Pep Kay
    James Newman
    Kealan Patrick Burke
    Neil Gaiman
    Eli Roth
    Frank Darabont
    Dot
    Mom
    Uma
    Everyone at Red Adept Publishing
    And, most importantly, carrot juice.
    Until next time,
    E.

Permanent Freebies

The bigger my catalog gets, the more books I can offer for free. Here is the current list of free content from yours truly. These are not on sale or going through some kind of limited promo. These books/short stories are permanently free at their respective sites. Feel free to share any way you see fit: reblog, tweet, Facebook, telegram, snail mail, boat charter, Morse code, messenger pigeon, smoke signals…

Thank you, every one of you, for your past, present, and future support.

***Please note that clicking on the Goodreads link will AUTOMATICALLY start the download of that book’s PDF.***

BAY’S END: AmazonKoboGoodreads.

WORLD’S GREATEST DAD: Goodreads

JUST SHORT OF PARADISE (Flash Fiction Goodreads Exclusive): Goodreads